Good news and bad news

Bad news: I'm under self-observation for possibly developing bipolar disorder. My school's counseling center offers 15-minute, low-key walk-ins with psychologists for people who have quick questions or one-time problems and don't want to go through the whole intake process to get therapy. I went to talk to a psychologist about my crazy weekend. (The whole episode, by the way, wound up lasting about 48 hours, with the worst part lasting about 24.) He agreed with me that it was hypomania, and asked about a family history of bipolar disorder or depression. And yes, I have a family history of both on both sides. So I've been instructed not to worry about it for now (yeah right), and not to jump to a diagnosis, but if anything like this happens again, to go to the counseling center. Hopefully this was a one-off thing; but the psychologist said he hadn't heard of hypomania happening without a cause. I'm pretty freaked out by this, obviously. Ever since I was little, I have been scared of going crazy. At least I have good friends and a supportive family. Prayers would be appreciated.
Good news: K and I have been texting every day. Yesterday he called me because he had a funny story to tell me that wouldn't fit into a text message. I was watching a movie with friends, but I said he could call me. And we wound up talking for 2.5 hours! The only reason we even stopped then was that his phone battery was dying. (I think I may have gone over my cell phone minutes this month. Oops. Hopefully it's not too expensive.) We talked about a lot of stuff, including some decently personal stuff (life aspirations, etc.). And he said he'd call me tomorrow! (That is, today.) I texted him to say let's skype instead, and he agreed. I'll be going to Mass at 4:30, then dinner, then Vespers at church. After that I think my whole evening's free, so hopefully that works for him. B and R also get back from R's house tonight, so I may spend time with them.

Me and Madness?

I was kind of crazy on Friday night when K was here. I was overtired to begin with, and quickly got overstimulated. This is a really bad combination. I got hyper. When we were outside, I was running and sliding on the ice. A and K were getting freaked out that I was going to fall and hurt myself, but I could not walk slowly. If I had stopped sliding, I would have had to run, spin, or do something. Later I was seriously having trouble watching the movie. I literally could not sit still. I was moving around, resettling myself, getting a drink just so I could walk around some, etc. When I was still, I was flapping my hands, chewing on my jacket sleeve, kicking the table, etc. (I said to K, "I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't actually have ADD....")

I'm not sure what was up. It was a sensory issue to some degree, I think, but it had some seriously freaky features. I could not stop my mind. We went back to our rooms around 4am, and I lay awake in bed with my mind racing till at least 5am. I was awake at 7am (I'm not sure when I fell asleep), and stayed awake until 8:15, at which point I gave up and got out of bed. It's now 4:30pm, and I have slept less than two hours since 6:30am on Friday. I'm only slightly tired, and my mind is still going faster than I want it to.

I looked up the definition of hypomania out of a vague memory of relevance, and these are the diagnostic criteria (from Wikipedia):

The DSM-IV-TR defines a hypomanic episode as including, over the course of at least four days, elevated mood plus three of the following symptoms OR irritable mood plus four of the following symptoms:

• pressured speech
• inflated self-esteem or grandiosity
• decreased need for sleep
• flight of ideas or the subjective experience that thoughts are racing
• easy distractibility and attention-deficit similar to attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
• increase in psychomotor agitation
• involvement in pleasurable activities that may have a high potential for negative psycho-social or physical consequences (e.g., the person engages in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, reckless driving, or foolish business investments).

I put the ones I was experiencing in green. Five where three are required, and the elevated mood. The only thing missing for a hypomanic episode is the time span.
From farther down the page:

When a patient presents with a history of one or more hypomanic episodes and one or more depressive episodes that meet the criteria for a major depressive episode, bipolar II disorder is diagnosed.

This is kind of freaky to me, because I've had a major depressive episode (atypical, I believe related to seasonal affective disorder). The only thing separating me from bipolar II disorder is that this episode only lasted about 24 hours. Edit from later: I thought I was back to normal when I wrote this, but it actually wound up being about 48 hours until I was really back to my usual self. The peak was about 24 hours though. Bipolar disorder has a genetic component, and it is present in my family history. So that's not super cheering to me.

Now obviously I don't have bipolar disorder in a way that affects my life enough to require treatment (if I did, I would know). I don't even fit the diagnostic criteria. But it does concern me how close I come. Something to keep an eye on, I suppose.