Wednesday, February 1, 2012

More about the blog title, and some of my life

"Sleeping under God's wings," as I mentioned, is from an antiphon of Compline (night prayer). The complete antiphon is "Night holds no terrors for me sleeping under God's wings." I like metaphors and analogies, so night for me means anything that frightens me. And there are a lot of things that frighten me. But as long as I remain sleeping under God's wings, I'll be okay. It's a reminder of a promise. I especially like to think about how much this means when you live in a time and place without cities and sturdy houses. If all you have protecting you from wolves is a tent, night must be much scarier--but not if you are under God's wings.

"Prone to wander" is from the hymn Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing. One of the verses of this song goes, "O to grace how great a debtor / Daily I’m constrained to be! / Let Thy goodness, like a fetter, / Bind my wandering heart to Thee. / Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, / Prone to leave the God I love; / Here’s my heart, O take and seal it, / Seal it for Thy courts above." I identify strongly with the simultaneous contradictory feelings of wanting to stay and tending to leave (primarily in religious matters, but also in social ones). I would like it if God would just take my heart and seal it so I am never tempted to leave, but I know that the way in which He does that, unfortunately, is by offering me opportunities to choose to stay. This hymn is also where my screen name comes from. (It has the added benefit of being something I don't use anywhere else, so I can remain anonymous until I choose to do otherwise.)

Sorry for not posting sooner. I had intended to post every day, but I think that's a pretty unrealistic goal, to be honest. I tend to have busy stretches and lulls. Also my life just isn't that exciting.

These last few days have been fun though. The weather's been pretty good (it's sad when 35 and partly cloudy is a nice day!), which has had a positive effect on my mood. Yesterday I did no homework at all and skipped the daily Mass I had planned on going to. Instead I watched the pilot episode of Smash (anyone seen that? It looks like it will be a good show) and Chicago (the movie) with my good friends A and P and another friend of ours (also A, but that's too confusing, and I doubt he'll be a regular character in this blog). Somewhat irresponsible, yes, but overall I think a good choice; I needed the break, and I did the homework the next morning. Today the theology department had a "vigil for Groundhog's Day/Presentation of the Lord" party (really just an excuse to get together for Mass and ice cream). My friend (and next year's roommate!) R went with me. It was fun, but I've eaten too much sugar today so I feel kind of sick and cranky. I need to keep a lid on my sugar consumption--I have a sweet tooth, but I really think that more than the occasional dessert affects my mood negatively. (Speaking of which, in developmental psychology we talked about how depression during pregnancy can negatively affect the baby...something to look forward to!)

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